hmm~ at least todae we werw kinda "back together"..morning was lyk usual.yar.i dunno lor.itx lyk ppl tink we're ok and lyk damn close but in actual fact,itx onli in the morningx then we sorta see each other. i mean for the past month lahhx.it was liddat.

todae kinda different.he came to find me todae.i dunno lor.i see him ler,dunno how to react.tot we wud b lyk damn quiet and lyk akward lor.but i was lyk damn happie to see him.happie till i became siiao.lolx.but he was luffin away at my stupidity of course.i din mind,as long as i could make him happie . thtx my wish =) .and ya,i hope i did.

urhhx. i dunno la.but to me,he looks lyk more 'new' and younger lookin when he got his haircut.damn cutte can !! den the specs he change ler,more cuteee !! haha.to me,itx handsum la,of course. i bet ppl will tink itx er xin.aiyoo !! *dun care !! he shoo handsum n cuteee !! lolx.especiallie now !! muz take a snap shot of him !! =p ...

*love ya dearr.i hope we can b as close as always.though aft patching,tingz dun usuallie turn out right,i wanna try again . try till we dun feel weiird or anyting . =) *muackk.huggiexx.

wanna go out wid u tml to watch moviie !! hope u can make it nehhx.


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 9/02/2004 10:38:00 PM

haiix.i tink we're gona break very soon.i jux got that gut feelin.

cuz of todae.ive confirmed myself.tht we may not last very long.cuz ah.todae he also lyk kena frustrated by me.nowadaex he very easily angry wid me.and show me attitude.not onli tht,he lyk...frustrated then ...u noe..aiyo.itx lyk last time when calvin n glenda together.sumting lyk them.

lyk he cant stand me anymore.alil bit onli,he getx angry wid me.thtx how i feel.but he tries not to show lor.by his voice,can tell liao lor.haiix.i dunno wad to do.i dunno wad to sae.i dunno how long we will last.i dunno how long moreee.haiix.

i dunno wadx happening.aft we patched,many tingz changed.the way he treats me totallie changed too.haiix. im a bad gf la.thtx why he bcame liddat towards me.*soobb. i cant make him happie.yet he wantx to b wid me.i dunno wadde hell im doin wid him..haiix.

ppl sae,let nature take itx course.but i dunno how im able to do it.how can i leave sumting so important to me dangling in the air and not doin anyting to solve it? how can i jux hang it dere,and not getting to the root of the problem.how can i jux let it stay there,makes me so uncomfortable.


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 9/01/2004 10:11:00 PM

haiix. we're drifting apart. esp since the dae we both patched. many ups and downs. not reallie shown between us lahx. in lyk jux keeping to ourselves about stuff lor.then lyk 'cold war' u noe.

i dunno.i feel troubled.we've reallie drifted..to our own fantasy world.sumtimex i jux ask myself aft we patched,'did he reallie wan me bac? or for the sake of feelin tht emptiness inside ?' i dunno.i reallie dun.im confused . by him ~ .it doesnt feel rite.

even todae.actuallie wanted to go out wid him sumwhere.but guess wad?he was goin home.cuz his frenx goin along. yar.so i jux asked him to get lost but indirectly. disappointing. and myself too.ive been givin him attitude.showing him attitude the past few daex.i reallie cannot tahan.i dunno lahx. i jux feelin very frustrated.

wad if it would turn out to be "all this time u were pretending,so much for my happie ending" ? pretending?i hope not.he seems frustrated when it cums to me.haiix.i changed.changed to the point i cudnt change anymore. and i guess he's feelin uncomfortable me wid liddat .

i can understand. but.i jux dun get it.i dunno.haiix. other daex he confirm gotta stay bac for EC. and of all daex,he's goin out todae. !! arhh !! I WAn TO CRY .I WAN TO CRY IT ALL OUT.I JUX FEEL HURT.SUMWHERE.SUMHOW.

sumhow,i feel tht he doesnt love me tht much ler. haiix. we shudnt haf patched. everyting is a mist now. everyting seems to b hazy.cloudy.dark.trapped.


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 8/30/2004 08:40:00 PM

i patched wid him .i dunno how it happened.but sumhow we did. *yesterdae was our 6mth.

yesterdae he asked me to meet him at nite.at my house the fountain.i was shocked.he suddenly msg me.he said he wanted to return me sumting.at tht point,i was lyk.i guess he reallie wanted to end it all.so i told him to jux throw it away.dun bother meeting me or giving it bac to me.he insisted on meeting.had no choice.

went to cut hair.he said he wud b waiting for me at 8.30.i told him in advance i wud b late.but he din bother.he said he wud wait.onli reached at 9.10pm.i was scared.i was afraid.my heart was thumping real fast.i din noe wad was ahead of me.i din noe wad to do.i din noe how i wud react.or wad to sae.i din noe wad was gona happen.at all.i was reallie nervous.but kinda kanchiong to get up there.=x

saw him.my heart froze.i felt lyk it stopped beating.i cud faint.i din noe how to face him.he handed me a paper bag.containing sumting inside which i had totallie no idea wad it was.then he started to cum closer.to tok to me.i tried hard to hide away frm the situation when he started to sae he was sorry and all those.and asked me to fogiv him n gif him a 2nd chance.i kept quiet.i avoided eye contact.i cudnt help it.i looked everywhere except his eyes.din dare see him.moved about.cudnt stand still cuz i felt weird.i din answer him at all.

i knew he was waiting for an answer.so i jux decided to break the silence.ask if he was gona stand there till i gav him an answer.then he started sayin all those craps.tht he was sorry.and explaining.blablabla.he toked about us.i was holding bac my tears.i kept trying.i did succeed at a certain time but to no avail.the tears started flowing out.lyk an overflowed glass of water.haiix.i cried.in front of him.i cudnt hide the tears.i cudnt tahan any longer.they jux came out lyk nobody's business.i tried to turn away frm him.but he kept cuming.and then he hugged me.

i din noe wad to do.i jux knew tht i had to cry.i wanted to cry.haiix.1st time i eva cried in front of him when i had problems wid him.well,he's the 1st.haiix.he held onto me.i jux kept my hands to myself.i reallie wanted to hug him real tight at tht point of time.but my hands din allow.i jux leaned my head onto his chest.

i had to stop cryin.cuz i knew my mum wud question me when i returned home.then i din noe how.but he started tokin to me lyk normal.and apologising.i kept denying it was his fault.dunno lor.then he sent me back home till we reached my level.

i dunno if itx all okay ler.but i guess we're bac together again.

todae i jux cant help but ..i feel angry wid him.i dunno.i jux got tis weird feelin.haiix.nvm.i tink too much.wadde....haix.


*We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.*


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 8/21/2004 01:53:00 PM

it's been such a roller coaster ride.

we broke up lyk 2 daes ago.

all my fault i guess.everyting happened so fast.

but in the end,i was dumped.ya.still counted as tht.

then jux yesterdae i saw the tag board.tht gal's so mean.

haix.nvm lor.we alrdy broke up.she can haf him for all i care.

since she's MUCH BETTER than me.as she said.

cant help it wad.i suck ma.anyway,i dunno.rushin to get to sch now.waiting for my mum. -.-


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 8/19/2004 01:02:00 AM

omg~ so long i nv blog here..*sad huhx..well,i din spend much time wid dearie for quite long liao worz...cuz got sch.then..i guess ive been goin out wid fwenz ..he too..=x..hmm~ reallie missed him lyk craziie when i was in genting...missed him so badly...

i was ill~...tht was lyk worse...when i got bac,dearie told me tht his keychain which i gav to him n wid my name ,broke not jux drop off in 1 piece..but lyk..the bell n the name broke lor..[he hang on his fone de]...

then lyk so sad lor..i was lyk *so dramatic???* lolz.. cux usuallie when sumting wrong then reallie will liddat..lolx..i kept tinkin..lolx..why lyk so coincidental?lolx..oh well..

im reallie very grateful tht dearie came to visit me todae..he so thoughtful~ though i noe he gotta go collect his basket ball thtx why he jux dropped by..at least he was concerned in a way~..thankiew dear...he was reallie a big bullie..

wanted me to pass him my "illness" oso..tht idiot..=x..lolz..well well...hope can spend more time wid him when im feeling betta... =).. lurve u deariiee... 10 more daex to our 6 mth anniversary...half a year !! *clap clap...lolz...

*muackz..


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 8/10/2004 09:51:00 PM

kkayx..i din use com yesterdae..which was 2o.o7..ahas..who carex,jux write it as yesterdae..
 
okays...todae huhx..so happie ~ i gave dearie a ring..yepyepx..*muackz..hope he lykes it,got my name on it lehs..ahahs..
 
but mine dun hav..*sa-ded..lolx..
 
oh wells..ya..todae spent quite sum time wid him aft sch...waited fer him..took pics..went to play play at the swing..
 
sent me home...piggie back me..yax..so fun~ had a great time wid him...
 
hmm~ though we cudnt spend the rest of the time together,as long as we noe tht we lurve each other,thtx the best ting!~ been 150daex together ler... :) im happi wors..keke..
 
to dearie terter[tigger]:
 
i've known u since janurary~ started lykin u since chinese new year~ toked to u alot..by sms ...too shy to face u ~i knew u were the one rite frm the start..i jux din noe how to tell u ~ until the 14th of feb which was valentines dae,u asked me for stead...din accept u till 20th ~ hee..i noe i was stupie wanting to let go of the relationship in the past..but now,im nvr letting go..i cherish u too much..i love u too much to ever b able to let u go ~..i've learnt my mistakex..and i shall not do it again..it was u who made me realise how important u are to me..
 
i nvr fail to love u more than any1 else...the mistakex i've made,and how we ended those quarels showed me tht we cud bond together well~..it showed me tht it made our relationship stronger..in trusting each other..many of my frenx ask me why we are so peaceful n not havin any "war"...itx cuz i trust u ~ u trust me..and im reallie thankful for tht...
 
no matter wad,u can count on me to love u as much as u love me too...hoping tht we wud last long enuff...and the ring will always b together...

[sorry ahs,write so long..so long winded..jux wanna express out...]


posted by [\cat.is.in.love.wid.tigger\] at 7/20/2004 12:17:00 PM